Lately I have been following what seems to be a broken path. I've been ignoring my sprit for quite sometime and sence then I have been slowly slipping out of form. Everyday is pleged with self doubt and fear (mostly of failing my family and school.) I've been trying to find love but have only found that I no longer love myself. I know that this is a huge problem. I feel as though that even by posting this blog I am showing how weak I am. I am at this point where I feel lost and can't find myself. Even my 2 year old daughter sees it at times. Nights are so lonely that I feel empty inside. I can't meditate (which used to make me feel empowered now just makes me feel more weak because I can't.) I don't know what todo. I don't think anyone can help. So I just wake up to more emptyness and lonely days. I just guess I want to know how to get out of this circle of nothingness. I need some help finding myself and my inner goddess. I want so much to feel whole again. I am starting to make myself read and study again. To help me find my way. Any thoughts on your part may help.
Blessed Be
Trying to find myself again...
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We never find what we seek. It finds us when we are not looking. Sometimes we have to stop grasping for the unknown to heal us and make us whole, and let the water rush over us. A peace comes from letting go, from letting that worry flow away from you. Once you let all that negative energy be released from you, you'll find calm. peace. |
Sad to say, but it's true what you say: Only you can do this. Not easy, not nice and usually scary as hell, but possible.
LaeticiaOf course I can't say what would work for you, but I spent a lot of time reading my tarot, venting my anger and frustration to the universe with the message "Hey you God/Goddess/Whatever who is behind all this longing and yearning in me - why don't you get your ass down here and claim me, because I'm waiting!" This was just a milepost, though, since then the setting changed once again, and this time my strategy has been to take a step back from everything pagan and just feel around. It's very quiet work and makes it impossible to drown the signs and the messages that pop out around me - but to be able to do this I had to clean the table for good. Hard to see the signs if they hide behind the previous clutter...
And just remember, the path to discovery can make many a twist and turn and lead you somewhere you didn't really believe you'd end up.
Hugs and strength.
07:06 PM CST